When I was just a boy, my father took me aside and admonished me that he would not be upset if I forgot his birthday, failed to get him a gift at Christmas, or overlooked Father’s Day, but I should never under any circumstances forget to honor my mother on Mother’s Day.
Given the fact that my mother was very nurturing and devoted to her family, I thought I had a reasonable understanding of why my father had offered such advice. As I grew older, however, I recalled barely seeing my mother during her pregnancies with my two younger brothers because she had spent much of those times in the hospital, struggling with crises associated with those pregnancies. Many years later, I found out that she had likewise come close to death when she was pregnant with me and my older brother. My father’s words now became more sobering.
It was not until I married and we had children of our own, however, that I grew to appreciate the greater journey of motherhood, beginning with puberty in girls as young as 10 years of age and evolving with distressing regularity until women are in their 40s or 50s, when menopause frequently brings the cycle to a physiologically and psychologically wrenching climax. If it were just the pregnancy that women had to tolerate, in itself, that would be worthy of celebration. Beyond that, however, all women accept with dignity the month to month physical and emotional drain imposed by nature and gift of their gender, for whether they are mothers in reality or those who have the potential for motherhood, they all travel the same wearisome journey.
So while women, who carry within themselves the first dwelling place of human life, endure, mindful that they do so to ensure the perpetuation of our species, what do we men do? Well, for one, we get to walk around the nursery with our chests pumped out and thumbs in our suspenders proudly announcing, “That’s my new son” or “my new daughter.”
So, I remind my son, as my father reminded me, never to forget Mother’s Day. But I add this one caveat: If one thinks for minute that men should be deferential toward women, mothers or not, by holding a door, fetching the car in a rainstorm or offering any other seemingly inane courtesy, it certainly is not because women are the weaker sex, but because they already have carried the bigger burden, I think men know this; boys should be taught.